As you can see from the post title it seems my grammar went AWOL while I was AWOL for a few days. I wasn’t really, I was doing all those last minute catch ups that you do at Christmas and which I tend to leave til the last minute – taking Buddy to work for introductions, visiting cousins, dropping off presents that can’t be posted, catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in ages, getting stuck on the motor way between exits for 3 hours, stationary, with a baby, who doesn’t sleep when the car is stationary. Joyous.
I think I sang ” . . . five little ducks went out one day . . . ” about 500 times.
In the end the “mother duck she went out one day over the hill to find her little ducks, and instead stumbled across a bar and had a quick beer, and then continued on to find her little ducks”.
After the 501st time, it devolved even further to ” . . . there were some ducks . . . they went someplace . . . got lost and were scared . . . but came back . . . because they were good ducks . . and the mother duck gave them cake . . . . see it pays to be a good little duck”. He’s not even 1 and I’m already bribing him with cake.
After the three hours stationary on the motorway, and having a tiny bit of a lead foot and being too tired to indicate when there were few cars around I started fantasising about what I would do if the police pulled me over.
And do you know, I think I would’ve kept going. At the speed limit of course.
I had images of myself with a series of pursuit vehicles behind me, doing 60 kph (the speed limit) and yelling through their megaphone, “mam, pull over”. But I wouldn’t have. They would’ve called in choppers and news choppers would’ve cottoned on. But I would’ve kept going until I could drive down my humble gravel driveway and rolled out of that goddamn car onto the gravel.
They would’ve had their guns drawn as I got out of the car. And I would’ve said to them “you see officer I’ve been in the car with my young child for 3 hours due to the chaos on the motorway. Have you ever been in the car with a baby for 3 hours and unable to pull over or get out to comfort said baby”. And they all would’ve nodded their head and put their guns away and we all would’ve sat down for a cup of tea and a chat. Yep. I definitely would’ve kept going.
Now. Prior to all this mayhem, I baked some killer christmas shortbread.
It’s Christmas-ey because it has cranberries and pistachios. And I know it’s good because Big Buddy liked it and he never likes anything I bake other than chocolate things. The only thing is it was a bit crumbly, I don’t know how to fix that.
The recipe is from retro mummy. I recommend it.
Any tips on making short bread that doesn’t crumble?