things I did not expect as a mum

Finally, someone has thrust themselves into the media to get the message across that motherhood, while being a natural path for a lot of women, is often 90% crap and 10% bliss. And for those that persistently profess that it is 100% bliss, well, their time will come.

Karma.

my little leprechaun

Inspired by Monica Dux who I saw interviewed on ABC News Breakfast the other day (I haven’t read her book but the interview was good), here are some things I didn’t expect about motherhood:

That the kids will love you but hate you in the same breath, cuddle but wriggle away in a millisecond and you will sit there and take it. You will probably not even notice the hitting or the biting. You take the hanging off your pants. And you’ll take it happily.

Explosive poops. I expected poops, but not a poop cannon.

You will sacrifice yourself a lot. More likely every minute of every day. Not just yourself, but your sense of self too. And it’s likely you’ll do it silently.

The sleep. I expected sleep loss but not waking during the night every two hours every day, every day, every day, every day and then the next day. And babies sleeping for 15-20 minutes in the day. It’s the persistence you need to prepare for, no breaks.

That your partner is unlikely to be anywhere near as supportive as you expected them to be.

Running cuddles. Running cuddles are the best thing in the world. Better than shoes. Better than chocolate fudge cake.

That ‘no’ apparently is funny.

The worry. You can’t help it. You try not to. You might even tell yourself you don’t care to trick your mind into not worrying. Don’t bother.

That newborns need to be taught how to sleep, it doesn’t always come naturally. And anyone that says differently is either lying or needs a fork in their eye for telling you that.

Breastfeeding is hard, and it hurts. But it gets easier and stops hurting pretty quickly.

Huge amounts of bright buzzing toys are largely redundant as kids will find things around the house to inspect and entertain.

As much as you think infant massage doesn’t work and is a waste of time, it does and it it isn’t once they get used to it.

Being bombarded with unsolicited advice. Take what makes sense to you. Give it a whirl. Do whatever works for you.

You will become an awesome problem solver and even better at multi-tasking than you ever have been.

It’s true, most men cannot multi-task. I never believed it before. But don’t ask them something while they are changing a nappy, the nappy changing activity will stop while the question is answered.

Motherhood is largely thankless, but so worth it.

eating toilet paperI think that’s about it, and I’m only a year in!

What do you think – do you agree or disagree?

What did you not expect?

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