52 weeks of grateful ~ living

19 living (i)I have a parent in hospital at the moment. They are trying to pretend it’s no big deal. They’d rather be there alone than worry the kids. That’s why they didn’t tell us about it.

I get it. I understand they probably cared for their parents, and it was hard, and they probably promised themselves they wouldn’t do that to their kids. Perhaps part of it is also that having kids fuss around them, will just make the illness more real, give it more power than they want it to have.

But it’s difficult. I grew up telling myself I’d be there for my parents when things started to deteriorate for them. As they were for me when I was bullied at school, when I fell off the horse, when I was sick, when I didn’t understand algebra. I promised myself they wouldn’t be alone. Because it’s good to have someone you love and who loves you by your side when life kicks you in the guts.

19 living (ii)As I try to navigate the child-parent-end of life journey, I am deeply grateful for life and living and for always having had someone by my side when I got kicked in the guts.

It is cyclic – we are born, we live, we die. It is fleeting. Kind of makes the little things I worry about everyday seem silly.

I’m linking up with Octavia & Vicky for 52 weeks of grateful.

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